Carry You Home
by sugarapplesweet
Summary: Even the closest of friends can have secrets they keep from one another. However, when one is left behind, the inner doubts begin to bubble to the surface, and then only question remains. 'If I had only known... could I have saved the life of a friend'


**Author's Note:** Yes, I'm still alive! I just have been working on one project almost obsessively is all, but this was a wonderful distraction.

Although I already had this idea in my head, this song-fic goes out to HMGirly. She was the one to encourage me to write this after I posted the idea on the Village Square Forums, and she also happens to be a fellow fan of James Blunt. Can't go wrong with something like that, can you? ;)

Forgive the unusual format, but I always try to incorporate the melody and rhythm of the song in some way. When working with James Blunt, though, that is both very important and very _hard_ to do.

**Disclaimer:** I don't have ownerships of Harvest Moon or the song _Carry You Hope_ which was written and performed by James Blunt.

--

**Carry You Home**

_Trouble is her only friend...  
and he's back again.  
Makes her body older...  
than it really is._

It never should've come to this, and yet here we are with me holding you in my arms once again. You're a long way from home which I suppose isn't all that surprising. After all, you told me yourself that it was the last place you'd ever want to be even though it's still the only place you have left to go back to. I offered to have you stay with me, but... you made it clear you wanted nothing to do with such a silly idea. What you wanted was a friend to stick with you through thick and thin.

Not some foolish man with a blue feather in his hand.

_She says it's high time  
she went away.  
No one's got much to say  
in this town..._

But if there's one thing I've learned in my brief lifetime, it's that you can't run from your problems. It didn't do anything for my father but slowly kill the only woman he ever loved, and my sister will eventually realize it for herself, I'm sure, if only when she finds herself all alone one night. However, this isn't about them or even me, is it? Of course I know you can't hear me right now, and what I _am_ saying is everything I've already said more than once in the time we've known each other. If you could speak right now, you'd probably just tell me to shut up anyway.

Only you could say it with a smile, though.

_Trouble is the only way,_

_is down,_

_down, down..._

Why did you come down here, I wonder? Well... I guess I already know the reason, so maybe I should ask why you came here now, in the middle of the night... all alone. I thought I knew you better than anyone. Then again, if I did know you, I wouldn't have been so shocked to find you like this, and I also would've realized how much you were hurting deep inside. After all, you were never one to let someone in that you didn't trust.

So why was it you couldn't trust me after all this time?

_As strong as you were,  
tender you will go.  
I'm watching you breathing...  
for the last time._

You never seemed to be a weak person, and even now, with you draped lifelessly in my arms, you're still the strong woman I always thought I knew. Maybe that makes me naïve, or perhaps I really am blinder than a bat like you used to say when we were just kids. I remember the day you first said it... You stole my glasses, and then you decided to try them on yourself. The only problem was that they made you dizzy. As soon as you fell, the lenses broke on the cobbled street right in front of your house.

That was the first, and last, time you ever cried in front of me or anyone else.

_A song for your heart,  
but when it is quiet...  
I know what it means...  
and I'll carry you home..._

_I'll carry you home._

I only wish you would've told me sooner because then... No, something tells me you still would've gone through with it. You were always so stubborn, and I never could seem to change your mind. Remember the day I told you not to try and swim in the Goddess Spring? Well, you were so determined there was no stopping you as you took off your clothes and jumped in, but once you were in there, you realized how cold it was. You still refused to come out, though, which is probably why you caught that nasty cold that lasted for three weeks that summer.

Too bad you didn't listen to Gotz when he told us that the water comes from the top of the mountain.

_If she had wings,  
she could fly away!  
And another day,  
God could give her some._

Didn't you once tell me about a flying dream you had? I never had one myself, but when you described it to me, I could see the hope in your bright, green eyes. I think that was the happiest you'd ever been, and I just wanted to see you keep that smile on your face. Would you have still been able to if you'd never grown up? If I'd been able to help you reach that sky...

Could I have kept you from sinking down so deep?

_Trouble is the only way,_

_is down..._

_down, down..._

I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for letting you convince me to sneak down into your uncle Duke's wine cellar when we first became teenagers. After all, I think that's when things started to really fall apart, both for you... and for me. At first, you called me a wimp because the taste was too strong, and of course, I just had to prove you wrong. It seemed so wonderful until we got caught one night, but even then our parents never really seemed to care. It was all just two kids trying to be adults.

Now they shake their heads whenever they see the two of us making our way to the inn.

_As strong as you were,  
tender you will go.  
I'm watching you breathing...  
for the last time._

Your last thoughts before you threw yourself off the dock... what were they? Did you ever think of me even when you took your final breath, or didn't I matter to you? I know I shouldn't say such things... because I'm sure there must've been more pressing thoughts you were probably having than your childhood friend. Like the time your parents had that argument, the one where your mother threw the gravy boat across the room? It was two years ago.

On the evening of our first Starry Night Festival together.

_A song for your heat,  
but when it is quiet...  
I know what it means...  
and I'll carry you home..._

Please, if nothing else, just tell me why you decided to end it so suddenly. I'd finally gotten you to accept my proposal after so many years of being 'just friends,' and now... I don't even have that. All that I have is a woman in my arms in a white t-shirt and jeans. Her hair used to be blonde, but now it's been stained green by the seaweed and the sea water to the point where I can't believe it's actually you. Although I could open your eyes, I... I don't want to see the truth in your dulled gaze.

Anything but that.

_And they were all born  
pretty in New York tonight.  
And someone's little girl  
was taken from the world tonight._

_Under the Stars and Stripes..._

You used to say that beauty was worthless, but what you didn't realize was that such things weren't only about appearances. Yes, you _were_ beautiful, but I always found it in _who_ you were, not what you looked like. Your smile, your laugh... even your tears... They were very special and wonderfully familiar to me because they were all a part of you. Everything you said and did was something I took to heart, and when I finally come to terms with the fact I won't see or hear these things ever again...

I'm not sure _what_ I'll do.

_As strong as you were,  
tender you will go.  
I'm watching you breathing...  
for the last time._

But I know what I _won't _do.

_A song for your heart,  
but when it is quiet...  
I know what it means...  
and I'll carry you home..._

Unlike you, I refuse to give in just yet.

_I'll carry you home._


End file.
